It’s been over a year now since my marriage broke down. Although it was my call to end things, I have still gone through all of the emotions over the course of the past year. So with that in mind, today I am sharing some tips for moving on following separation. Read on to find out what helped me.
Tips For Moving On Following Separation
In the months following my moving out of the marital home, I went through a whole host of emotions. Firstly, I was upset that my marriage had ended, and my children wouldn’t be together (or with me) all of the time. While I was processing that, I had intermittent bouts of guilt, anger, fear and loneliness. One second I’d be feeling positive about what was happening, the next I”d be crying because I’d not seen my daughter that day.
The first thing I did which helped me was to stop looking back. I realised that spending hours mulling over where things went wrong was pointless. My marriage was over, and it was time to focus on the present and future. So with that in mind, I realised I needed to work on my own self worth.
Working On My Own Self – Worth
One of the biggest things I realised following our separation was that my self – worth was none existent. I felt like a burden to everyone and that nothing I did was good enough. Thankfully for me, I stumbled into a new relationship not long after we separated, and my new man is amazing at building me up. He has helped me to believe in myself more, and my self – confidence has increased rapidly too.
I know that most people aren’t lucky enough to step out of a marriage and into a new relationship. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t work on your own self – worth. I was always terrible for dwelling on every little mistake and taking it personally. Now, instead of focussing on the things which go wrong each day, I take comfort in the things which went well.
I’m slowly refurbishing my new house, so have been setting goals around that. My current target is to have the lounge and dining room decorated in time to get a new Christmas tree at the start of December. This sounds like a small goal, but the room has needed 3 coats of paint on the ceiling so far, and I have already skimmed 3 walls. There’s plenty more to do before I can even think about painting them.
Every time I am feeling low about my current situation, I look back at the things which I have achieved since my separation – this helps me to stay positive.
Don’t Focus On Your Ex
For me, the main thing which has helped with moving on following separation is keeping my ex husband out of my thoughts. Of course, we still communicate a lot regarding the kids, and that’s great. But I don’t spend time wondering what he’s up to etc. If you find yourself thinking about your ex, it’s a good idea to keep busy. Whether that’s baking, cleaning or going for a run… I”m sure there’s something which will keep your mind busy.
Finally, I have linked this post up to day 19 of Blogtober. Today’s prompt was “Don’t look back in anger”.