I’ve been a Mum for 8 years now. During that time, I have come to realise just how many things people don’t warn you about in advance. With that in mind, today I am sharing some things they don’t tell mums to be. Read on to find out what some fellow bloggers said when I asked them! Additionally, feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments!
Ten Things They Don’t Tell Mums To Be
Mummy Knows Best
Amy from mum full of dreams said, “That all the advice you’ll get given is best ignored… go with your gut, always”. I agree 100% with this! People usually mean well, but you know your baby best. So trust your instincts!
Breast Feeding Isn’t Always Easy
For me, this was the first massive shock about parenthood. We’d been to antenatal class, and been told about “putting the baby onto your breast”. However, nobody mentioned they’d be feeding around the clock some days, and that getting them to latch on hurts – a lot in some cases!
The absolute shock of this made breast feeding a real downer for me. I can’t help but feel it would have been easier to handle mentally, if I had been able to prepare myself for the fact it might not be as wonderful as the leaflets made out.
Super Sized Cleavage
Mandi from big family organised chaos said, “Exactly how big your boobs get when the milk comes in and how much will leak all over you and the baby!” I’m going to have to dispute this one though… My A cups swelled to a mighty…. not quite B cup! SIGH!
Poop Poop Poop
Speaking of nappies… When I asked Beth from Twinderelmo what things they don’t tell mums to be, she said: “How much babies poop! It’s never ending in the early days and looks like a korma!”
Again, I’m on the fence with this one! My son would fill his nappy after every single feed. Alternatively, my daughter went for 13 days until she did her second poop – seriously! That’s not normal though – it turned out she had a pretty bad dairy and soya intolerance, so my breast milk was causing her some extreme constipation. Poor baba! This leads us nicely onto the next answer…
Laundry Laundry Laundry
Emma from Farmers wife and mummy said… “The amount of washing a tiny baby can generate”! She’s not wrong either! My youngest child frequently had 5 outfits a day on, thanks to her reflux making her spew up after every feed. SIGH. I usually had at least 3 different tops a day on, too. Cloth nappies will add another mountain to your laundry pile, too. While it’s amazing that they won’t end up in landfill, cloth nappies will increase your energy usage.
Another one from me is the baby blues. I’d heard about them in passing, but didn’t realise just how desperately alone and low I’d feel. I didn’t really experience this with my first born, but my daughter didn’t sleep, So I became very emotional, very quickly.
She had colic and would scream around the clock for 20 hours a day. I didn’t make it to my bed at night for weeks. Instead, I stayed up all night with her so she wouldn’t disturb my husband or son. We eventually found out she had a dairy allergy and things improved quickly once she was on the right milk.
Just remember it’s ok to not feel the absolute, overwhelming love and happiness immediately and constantly. A new baby is a big change. Talk about how you’re feeling, and accept all offers of help!
Stevie from acornishmum made me literally laugh out loud with her answer! She said: “You may end up having to sit in a small bath to wee the first few times after child birth, to cope with the stinging that can happen. As gross as it sounds, by then you’ll have lost all idea of dignity and the bath water will seriously help – I promise!
Thankfully, this wasn’t part of my post childbirth experience. I did have to catch my first few poops in tissue, though as I was scared I’d lose an internal organ…!
When I asked Victoria from the growing mum what things they don’t tell mums to be, she said: “How much you’ll miss hot (or even warm) drinks and food.” – She’s not wrong! I frequently microwaved each cup of tea a good 3 times for the first year… Then I gave up and began drinking them cold.
Louise from pink pear bear said… “Your friendships will change. Some will fall by the wayside, maybe picked up again in the future, maybe not (and that’s ok!) Also, some will strengthen. New ones will be formed, and some of those will only last while you are at the same playgroup/preschool. All of that is absolutely fine, just hang on to the good ones that you can call at a moments notice.”
She’s not wrong! I went from having a huge circle of friends to a very small one when I became a Mum. I was the first of my friends to become a parent, and my priorities changed. We picked up friendships when they too became parents though, and I have a great bunch of new friends too.
My final one is how many people will try to judge your parenting. Some will disagree with your use of formula or breast feeding in public. Others will frown at your use of disposable nappies or talc. One person will tell you it’s wrong to hold your baby so much, while someone else will tell you off, if you let them cry it out. Co – sleeping is awful to some people, while others disagree with babies having their own room. Just remember: YOU know best and what works for one baby won’t always work for another. You’ll grow a thick skin quickly enough, I promise!
Finally, if you have enjoyed this post, feel free to check out more of my family content here. Also, don’t forget to leave your things they don’t tell mums to be in the comments!
PS one for good luck! Charlotte from cups of Charlotte said: How many people will say they can’t wait to meet the baby when you’re pregnant and never bother with you again. Another one that’s spot on. Don’t expect all of those babysitting offers to happen!